I promised myself that I would be writing more to tame my mojo!That is my contribution to this blog aside from being a driver in our "exploring." So far, I have written a more-than-thousand-word-blog on being a Filipina, an introduction to life's politics (which is yet to have an after-an introduction series!), a rant about Disney Princesses: You May Kiss, Live Happily Ever After and More Fairy Tale Fallacies and Happy Endings which has nothing to do at all with Disney Princess but on the life of a OFW and not-OFW, go figure. My latest was a rant about Valentines' Day - Love day is every day. .
It seems that I don't have much thoughts on a single topic - I don't have any structure at all. Let's see where this attempt to write bring me. For all of you who actually visit and browse, thank you very much. Writing my thoughts make me happy - I just don't know whether the readers are happy. Writing 101 principles violated - but come to think of it - I have yet to get lessons on Writing 101 - oh boy! So please feel free to offer any writing lessons.
Now I need to move on to my topic - Parenting Lessons from Criminal Minds. Here goes.
Parenting Lessons from Criminal Minds
I am Caroline, a very laid back mom and wife – I am a criminal-mind-o-lic. For the past weeks, I have watched all episodes of all six seasons of Criminal Minds. I also got updated with the new series – Criminal Minds – Behavior Unit. (There’s no Aaron Hotchner factor in the second series – let’s see how this will go, will it be compensated by that hot British dude?)
I love the show series to bits. I can relate to both the criminals and the FBI – BAU unit. Okay. Maybe not the being Dr. Spencer Reid as the genius and PhD holders – but hey, I have untapped potentials I could explore. Who knows, I could be a very good criminal profiler. Am sure is doing a good job preventing my criminal profile to come out!
Being an addict has its benefits – of course! Every addict needs to justify their wrong doings by validating the lessons they have learned. So while moms are debating over Amy Chua’s Parenting Principle – I am lifting parenting lessons from my addiction. Hey, if there is a life changing topic I learned by being an engineer and in my current profession – that is optimization. Optimization is just making use of your available resources and maximizing the output. This is true to life and in parenting; with whining on the side.
So here goes the lessons I intend to apply throughout my life as a mother:
1. Do not kill your children. This rule is not obvious to a lot of parent s from several episodes. It is a no-brainer for me so I am above these parents who did kill their children. Big hooray for me! Although figuratively, I do want to scream sometimes especially when the kids kept pushing your limits – I get nowhere close of wanting to kill them. They are gift from God and have purpose and meaning maybe not to you, but could change the life of others. Please do not kill your children.
2. Do not show your children you have killed anyone. Parents are role models for children. Monkeys see. Monkeys do. Whatever you demonstrate to the children will have lasting effect on the psychological profile of your children. Children define the rights and wrongs in their life by the way their parents behave. If we allow our children to observe how we kill , then they will not realize that it is wrong to kill. They will even perform killing as you have done it to get your nod of approval when they grow up. Just imagine a lot of people sacrificing their lives so your children can prove that they do adore and love their parents.
3. Do not ask for your children’s help to kill anyone. This is relative to Lesson #2. Do not ask for their help, for crying out loud. Parents are the authority figure for kids. The parents’ duties include directing them to goodwill and good behavior. Children will do everything, even against their will, if the parents bullied them to do things. Again, bad for the psychological profile.
4. Do not abuse your children. Nagging is a form of abuse. Psychological abuse is the worst form of abuse. Children- parent relationship is an interdependent relationship. They learn from us, they learn from them. We want the best from each other so we could eventually grow together. Growing up together is really awesome – bullying kids to achieve is so not cool.
5. Be honest with your children. Lies would get you killed. So they say, honesty is the best policy. Kids nowadays are way too smart to be told lies to. They have the sense to realize hard facts and lies. Not telling or delaying information is a form of lying. Information is power. Give power to the children to decipher right from wrong. Be honest to them.
6. Do not neglect your children. Do not let your children roam away from you in public places. Looking for a missing child could be the most agonizing feeling for a parent to experience. Imagine this. In the crowded park with you and the children. Imagine this - you got preoccupied observing the person around you and minute after, your kid is gone – agonizing torture. Do not neglect your children because of unnecessary things in life – focus your attention to the children. At this age of emails and fast food, everything is in fast forward and there’s no pause button. As a parent, the focus of our activities should be the children. The reason why we work is for them. Work, however, is not an excuse not to be with them.
7. Dying for your children is a parenthood act. It will be viewed as very noble act in the eyes of people who haven’t experienced parenthood. It is normal act for parents. Once you have children, they will be the walking pieces of the parent’s life. Without them, our hearts will never be the same. Therefore, it is before for the body to rest and let the heart grow and realize ultimate possibilities in this world.
8. But as much as possible, do not die. Kids are always better off with their parents. Kids learn to live violence into their lives very quickly when they observe it a lot. Violence begets violence. As cliché as it goes, kids’ minds are like an open canvass – the parents has free hand on how it got painted first. We have to take care of ourselves, live healthy so will sure to be there for them. Children should bury their parents, not the other way around. Live healthy. Exercise. Do not drink. Do not smoke. We should think of the children’s future.
As I keep emphasizing to my husband, that there comes a certain age when we should stop blaming our parents for the mistakes in our life. That I know and live. However, as young parents, we are preparing their life’s blueprint and we should be responsible now so there will be no blames (and accusations, oh God no!) in the future.
And I don’t need Dr. Spencer Reid’s brain to figure it out. On the second thought, a little bit of training under Aaron Hotchner would be very good for me.
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