HAPPY ENDINGS FAR FAR AWAY

This is not another rant about Disney Princesses. I will do not some other time again.

This is about real stories with happy endings while working overseas or choosing (or not) to work overseas.

My friend, Mr. D, got determined to work overseas because of a Kia Pride.  For those of you who are used to driving BMW and Mercedes, Kia Pride is a small car made in Korea known for its fuel efficiency and cheap investment cost. Right after completing his university degree, he worked in a bank. His boss purchased a Kia Pride. That triggered his thoughts of the future. He thought that in five years time, he would be where his boss was. He would be paying half of his salary to car loan for 5 years or so. He was Php4000 (in Philippine pesos) and that was considered above average those times. He thought further, by the time he was 3, and he would be able to own his own Kia Pride. As promising it was for his boss, his big-picture mind told him that it was enough for his future. He wanted something else.

He has been working overseas for almost ten years now in different countries and different companies. He owns a Mazda (zoom! Zoom!) and lives luxuriously in his three bedroom flat travelling as a tourist every six months.

Meet Ms. E. She started working overseas after graduating high school as a cleaner in my husband’s workplace. In the hotel lobby where she cleans, she met the love of her life, an expat businessman. She  got pregnant, went home, got married and returned back overseas where her husband works.

My former classmate in university, Ms. C,  went to Dubai for a good employment. She left behind her husband and children. After two months of homesickness, she went back home and now owns a business. She couldn’t be happier now with her husband and children. She’s expecting another  baby real soon.

It's opener there in the wide open air - Dr. Seuss

Different people, different stories, same plot, different happy endings. Working overseas is a dream to most people back in their home countries. Dr Suess articulate it the best – “it’s opener there in a wide open air.”  When we leave home and our comfort zones, we open ourselves to a plethora of opportunities yet we are exposing ourselves to a variety of high significant risks. Who can tell whether it is for the better or worse. But not taking the risk and staying put is one way of exposing ourselves to much bigger risks.

Every now and then we have to ask ourselves a question: ARE WE IN THE OPEN AIR? Or maybe  we have been living under the rock of comfort zone, then we should consider it a red light. The breathe of open fresh air is something we should all consider I believe. However, not everyone may consider this as a source of achievement or happiness. I know a lot of people from everywhere staying where they were twenty or thirty years ago and they have thrived so much and seemed very happy – living within their bubble.

Who am I to say it is wrong? I am still going to say it though – I think it is wrong and a big injustice to human potential. In this rapidly changing world, not changing at all is actually moving backwards regardless of whether we stay local or work overseas.

I guess my point is that everything is case-to-case basis. To work overseas or to stay at a mediocre job back home; to earn money overseas or to be with family; to get married or to stay single –  we can’t judge people for their decisions neither we can judge the degree of happiness people feel in their life.

Makes me wonder why being envious and being jealous is so common human feeling. Maybe it boils down to not knowing thy own self. Pity!

What we should focus on is to dream for ourselves. It’s a dream, it’s free, dream big! Focus on that dream and concentrate and realizing those dream. Everything is relative so do not compare your dream to others – it is a futile use of our time.

My work overseas started as pure chance. My former colleague and a friend asked me to browse the Doha 2006 Asian Games website and chanced upon an opening that fits my qualification. I was a single mom then starting to struggle to make both ends meet; life is simple in my own small rock. Out of wishing something big for myself and for my daughter, I send an application. Got interviewed and got a job offer. I was 70% sure that I was not going to accept the job offer. It would be a real pain to live a stable job, a house and an almost fiancé. But then, same with Mr D, I looked far into the future and see myself never really happy with my current job, the same house and the same guy. ( I know – biatch!)

Looking forward and seeing myself miserable, made me forget any risks. I accepted the job which turned out to be fulfilling which led me to a permanent job , met the man of my dreams, the man who turned out to be“not-just-good-enough” but the man who “never-fails-to-make-me-swoon-all-over-feel-good-no-drama-man”, and build a family. It was perfect.

And now everything is settled and time to enjoy the comfort zone an d- you, guess it, time to look forward and assess whether we want to be right now where the future will lead us.

Dreaming big sucks sometimes. When you have realized you’re dream, then it’s time to make a new dream, as quoted by Rapunzel in the movie Tangled.

Now that we are dreaming big as a family, it makes it more challenging if not difficult. There are thoughts of going back to Turkey or Philippines. There are also thoughts of migrating to other countries. These are changes in life which we need to initiate to prepare us for bigger changes in life in which we have no control over.

One way or another, it will be happily ever after again. But we do not stop writing stories because we met our happily ever after. We make more stories until the pages of the book ran out. Even until then – we can create new books. And on and on and on.

Life starts now; not once upon in a far far away land.

Live life!